10 years today married to the best partner in the world. Love you long time my Sayang aka Jaan.
I’d like to take this opportunity to share my tips on marriage.
Common anniversary sayings: “there are many ups and downs”/“Thank you for sticking by my side”
This tells you a marriage is one of the most uplifting-flying in the cloud experiences and can also be one of the most ground crushing. It’s hard as hell to maintain but it’s the most beautiful, fulfilling, heaven-like life experiences when you make it work.
In the Baha’i faith it’s clearly mentioned, it takes super human powers to make a successful marriage.
So here are my tips:
1. Find a person that truly complements you.
Example: if you’re shy, find someone who’s more bold, if you’re the arrogant type then find someone who’s friendly and kind. If you don’t like going out then find someone who does (so she can take the kids on awesome trips & they don’t die of boredom).
2. Marriage isn’t about looks.
Every single human has their appeal and bad side. Find the real beauty in the person cause that lasts thru the ages. The rest fade away with age. Ask yourself would he/she make a good parent, in law, friend to others.
3. Life will be full of amazing ups and harsh downs.
Things you truly can’t prepare for. Ask yourself, would this person stand by you during the hardest times of your life? Would he/she still love and care for you if you became unsuccessful, financially constrained, really sick, unable to provide for the family?
4. Kids are the greatest happiness.
They are also the greatest achievement/enjoyment/adventure/motivation/inspiration. It’s a great awesome whirlwind and is worth every second. Love them unconditionally but do NOT spoil them. They will have to face the real world so it’s best if you prepare them well. Overprotecting them will make them weak and unable to fend for themselves.
5. For a successful home-living, your wife will be Numero Uno with the kids.
She’s the Boss. Get used to it. Don’t contradict her around the kids, always ensure the kids know she’s Boss & if you have any advice or input to help a sticky situation, do it in private. Do not have her authority questioned. (Benefits: you’ll have amazing kids & since you’re the “good cop” by default they’ll always hold you in high regard: till they have their own kids, then they’ll know u’re sneaky-smart man = legend)
6. ALWAYS ensure your family knows you’ll protect & be there for them no matter what.
It’s as simple as always answering your wife’s call, & revert to Whatsapp for trivial matters. But when she calls, you pick up the phone. If she says she’s in a difficult situation, you run to her assistance & drop everything else, no questions asked.
7. Remember, marriage is a partnership.
It’s really the longest relationship & most powerful one you’ll ever have. You’re equal partners. So work out who is responsible & in charge for what & stick to the agreement. If you need changes then discuss it don’t assume. Never ASSUME.
8. As it’s a life time partnership, you’re both each other’s full time life coach.
You are responsible for each other’s growth & development. Constantly help each other learn, grow, develop & provide opportunities. Kind words & strong encouragement is so important.
9. Communication is key.
But so is keeping quiet & being calm when the other person is upset. So giving someone space & time is as important as talking about it. Both work miracles. Just figure out which mode is best suited for the situation
- Happy Wife, Happy Life (for real)!
- If she’s a good cook never let her out of your sight
- If she’s a great mother, you’re the worlds luckiest man
- There’s a reason their called ‘brownie points’, coz if she makes great brownies you’re set for life
- If she works out, damn son you’re gonna be happpyyy-long-time.
- Gifts always help, words matter but nothing beats action and presence.
#Marriage #MarriedLife #Experience #life #partnership #Children #happyWifeHappyLife #Bahai #socialentrepreneur #humanitarian